A text arrived on my phone today; a beautiful little girl has been born to one of bestest ever friends. My heart soared and I imagine my darling lady will be as calm and relaxed as she always is, even now that there are 2 big brothers running around the house while she sits still with her beautiful little bundle of pink. This friend walked into my life uninvited but dearly needed, with advice, laughter and a kitchen table that offered refuge. From the beginning, she was a force to be reckoned with and a fantastic friend, the type that doesn’t wait for you to call her because she called you last time, the kind that knows when just to listen, the one where you could go to hide for as long as you need.
A few hours later, I said goodbye to another Best Friend, as she heads on a long adventure home. I have known her for 3 months minus 2 days and I want to be her friend forever. This is the person who can teach you to be a better person simply be helping you believe that you already are. She is the one us newbies turned to for advice and help and reassurance and how we all go on without her smile, grace and support is beyond me.
As adults, we find it hard to make new friends. It is the kind of thing that cannot be forced and unless you are in new situations where you meet new people and gradually build up a friendship, can be almost impossible. When I arrived in Banff, a friend from home texted me “To make friends”. I told him how scary that was, and promised I would never say that to my child. It put the fear of God into me. To be fair to this friend, they texted day and night when I arrived, making sure I was ok, keeping me company, keeping me going. An episode of the Big Bang Theory is based entirely on how to make friends. Yet, I am lucky to have people who seem to arrive just when I need them. When I look at all those beautiful friends I have, here or at home, I wonder what I ever did to deserve their friendship. I have the ones who sum up the “If you ever land up in jail, don’t ring me. I’ll be sitting there right next to you”, as well as the ones I would be ringing to get us out, the ones who’d provide the alibi and the ones who would bury the body.
Some friends are here for a good time, others for a long time, and others who marry both. In 50 years time, my friend is going to come visit me in Ireland, and we will go for high tea and then later to a pub and club, because we realised neither of us dance really well, and that we could still pull off our moves when we are 80. I hope so. I’d like to have a friend at 80 who knew me when I was “young” and still wants to go clubbing.
I’d like it that they still wanted to hang out with me.