Waking Up In Canada

Time Out Just To See

Don’t love, DO February 15, 2013

Filed under: writing — wakingupincanada @ 8:41 am
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This is my seventh day in a row, writing. It has been a long time since I invested this much time in what I love, and I have loved it. It has not been easy; taking the time to write, usually first thing in the quiet of the dawn; coming up with topics that strike me, and give me enough to go beyond a sentence; long, clumsy sentences that don’t make sense, deleted, re-written, deleted re-structured, not perfect but completed. For me, doing what you love is knowing you are far from perfect and doing it anyway. It took discipline and a little bit of commitment.

I once again return to those wise words that caused me to begin: even those with great talent must practice, and so, for me with little skill and only a wish, I must work doubly hard. I am better than I was a week ago, because a week ago I did not write. If the slowest run is faster than the couch, is the worst paragraph better than a blank page?

Writing has given me more than words. My thoughts, an often crowded, confusing chaos that needs a bit of sorting on a regular basis enjoy quality time to just roam free within the structure of sentence. Thoughts in order often help order elsewhere, like my desk, my kitchen and my laundry. Writing gives me a sense of achievement, I planned, I did, I completed. Every day. It is like ticking of your to-do list, a gold star, or for me at least, red tick in my copybook.

What good is a hobby that you don’t do? I ask sometimes, in conversation for the first time, “what do you enjoy doing?”, and they say reading. What did you last read? Oh, I can’t remember. What a shame. Or I love golfing but I only play when we are in Mexico. How sad, that you have to wait until you go on holiday to enjoy that which you love. It seems a bit of a waste, a waste of fun. There are those whose hobbies ended when they left school, I used to play football, I used to skate, I used to, once upon a time. Then there are the opposite, I quilt and there, you see in a massive handbag a small patchwork peeping out, waiting for an idle moment to finish the line of stitching. I scrapbook, and I am going away next weekend to get my next calendar done. You can hear the passion and feel the love, and these voices are the ones we gather to, the people who love and do. I run, I play football with other Mums. These are the people we follow. They don’t say I love to, they just, do. We all need a little fun and enjoyment. Life is hard. It is full of work and responsibility, paying bills, paying attention, getting the dishes done and remembering birthdays and anniversaries and who is married to whom.

My name is Kellie and I write.

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Me on my Mat January 26, 2012

Filed under: life,yoga — wakingupincanada @ 9:20 pm
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It is Day 12 of the 30 Day Yoga Challenge.

I have committed to 6 classes a week for a month. I like my challenges: my fastest 5 miles, my Novel Writing Month and now, it is yoga’s turn for an intense period of dedication. My Mother would probably appreciate if I gave as much attention to my faith but in my defence, I do believe in living my faith through all my activities.

Now nearing the end of week 2, it is interesting to look at how far I have come. I am definitely stronger in my upward/downward dogs. I am managing a version of full wheel more often. I am balancing a little better in my half moons and reverse moons and aeroplanes. It is in my attitude that I am growing.

I arrived to my mat on Monday groggy and went through it. I felt stiff and boring and listless. I felt groggy still on Tuesday and then I remembered, I love this class. Tuesday evening Ashtanga is the start of my 2 days off. I smiled and moved and breathed. I love the instructo’s humour and hands on corrections. Wednesday was Flow and I went twice. It was a challenge in the crowded room, one fall over would have brought down at least another, and again I found myself digging deeper, softening my face and remembering my love. I loved this instructor’s wise words for contemplation in the midst of stretches adn balances. Thursday was Ashtanga and we were brought back to basics. It is amazing how little I know about the simple things and the wonderful opportunity to look at my foundations.

Why is it that when we commit to something we love we worry we will fail? As if the failure will bring with it punishment and condemnation. It rarely does you know, except from ourselves. Committing to something we love is saying yes to happiness, yes to enjoying the moment, agreeing to stick through the tough times even when it means putting our heads in the mat and just breathing in the energy to continue. Commitment means that at that moment, you show up. It does not mean that you are perfect, or that it will always be easy, or that things will work out the way they should like in a fairytale. Commitment is not something imposed but voluntarily given. You give because you love it, because the rewards, be they in emotional support, in health, in laughter or in love, outdo anything that you can give. My mat asks nothing more of me than to be on it, just as me.

I will be on my mat. I will be present and fully engaged. I may be stiff and tired but  Iwill be me, at that moment. I will be grateful for the opportunity to practice what I love.