This morning, tired, I pulled myself along to yoga.
This morning, we did a lot of twists. For some reason, I was not feeling it. I’m not sure exactly what “it” is, but I know when it is missing. I decided to concentrate on the basics. To do my best regardless that
my best was not what it usually is. With this in mind, I tried not to get frustrated when even my downward dogs felt wrong, and the instructor offered advice. My elbows went wide during my low push-ups. It felt like my work over the past 6 weeks had taken a few steps backward overnight and I didn’t know why. Bending forward on my legs, I felt
inflexible, and even gravity wasn’t helping to pull my head towards the floor. I realised too late into a move that my left leg was in the air doing the job of the right leg. “Why is this happening?” I thought. When you get the simple stuff mixed up, you get left behind and lost.
My life here is simple. I have learned that doesn’t mean it is easy. Mostly I bring it on myself. I sometimes get caught up in my head on questions and forget that the idea is to have no plan. Where next? When? How? Other times, I feel like I am not good enough- not running as often as I should, reading too little, forgetting to appreciate the view , not contacting friends at home enough, not going to yoga enough, not meeting other people enough.
In one twist, I knew I’d gone far enough. I was lunging and twisting and working to hold and improve both. I had to gaze over my shoulder. “Sometimes we need to twist a little deeper, to look further than we have looked before, to see something new, something we didn’t notice before”, the instructor said. I twisted a little further. I could see the mountain now. I relaxed into it and enjoyed the view. I smiled upwardly to say thank you for the lesson.
It seems today is a day where I need to work on the basics. I will run and write and take a walk for coffee. If I let go of the questions, I will see I am exactly where I want to be right now.