Today, I reached for camomile tea instead of coffee.
I love coffee, black coffee with a good dollop of milk, caramel macchiato, gingerbread lattes. My heart rate increases, especially when I have it for breakfast. An ex told me I was not allowed coffee if I hadn’t been for a run. I get too energetic, too much. I enjoy lazy afternoons in warm, cosy coffee shops, a creamy beverage in one hand a book on another and perhaps a little pastry to nibble on.
That’s the thing. When I have my coffee, I start looking around for the sweet treat, a biscuit or a piece of fudge. I know this is just association theory but knowing what it is doesn’t stop me. Caffeine levels spike then sugar levels spike and then I am sitting on the rollercoaster, running on someone else’s tracks. I know it is simply about stopping putting the junk in my mouth, yet when I am on the rollercoaster, my cravings win.
So today, along with my morning porridge, I am having a cup of camomile to soothe and relax. I have been to yoga, where we reflected on the acorn. The acorn is destined to be a massive oak tree and yet it lies there, small and quiet. Inside is an amazing blueprint of what it will one day become, but for now it sits quietly in the soil, just being an acorn.
For me, I thought a little more about what the acorn does need: fertile soil of nutrients and water, a little bit of sunlight, space, some warmth, and bravery to follow its shoots to peak above the ground and then keep on going, knowing its roots are solid in the soil.
I look up and I reach for the clouds. Sometimes I check that my feet are balanced. I forget about the nourishment though. I forget about the water I need until I am thirsty. I think about what my mouth enjoys but not what my feet, my legs, my head, my heart need. I think in terms of full and empty, not energy, repair, growth, rest, balance and all those other things our food gives to us. I wonder why I get spots and cold sores, but I don’t wonder for long.
At this time of year, it is easy to get lost in the merriment of alcohol and food a plenty. I will go back to my reflection a few weeks ago: passionately balanced. Too much of a good thing is often simply too much. As we prepare to welcome the Baby Jesus into our lives, I want to honour the body he has given me and treat it with respect. I want to nourish it not weigh it down. I want it to grow strong and supple, not ever outwards.
My stomach and my mouth will have a chat about what is going wrong. There must be enough food in the world that both will enjoy.
Amen to that.